A Review Of Female Sexuality, Orgasm and
A Review Of Women's
The Achievement Of Orgasm & Female Ejaculation
We are a husband and wife
team of sexual therapists, and we aim to remove some of the mystery that
both men and women may feel when looking at the female body. Even today,
when sexualized images of woman are all around us in society, there is a
shortage of high quality information available, especially around
female orgasm and female
sexual pleasure, particularly for men who wish to know
how to please a
woman in bed and bring her to orgasm easily.
If you're a woman who has
doubts about her own body, read on, and be reassured that whatever your
genitals look like, they are normal, and capable of giving you great
pleasure; and, if you're a man, who perhaps needs to know more about
female sexuality, we hope you find the information interesting. of course,
this website is not just about the physical aspects of sex - it is about
the emotional and relationship aspects as well. For example, many woman
are looking for advice on how to make a man fall in love with them! Well,
maybe we can tell them! Whatever you want to know, feel free to email us with questions or queries.
Just why do so few women reach orgasm during
Few men know how to make a woman
squirt, and the reason why might be revealed
in a piece of research conducted by Kim Wallen, professor of behavioral neuroendocrinology at
Emory University. Prof Wallen has investigated the structure and
physiology of the vagina and clitoris in women who reach orgasm during sex
as well as those who do not.
be exact, he's investigated the correlation between orgasm during
intercourse and the distance between a woman's clitoris and her vaginal
For those women who have pondered ruefully on their failure to achieve
orgasm during intercourse, and wondered if they might just be "built
differently" to other women who appear to be more successful at achieving
orgasm, this may come as a reassuring piece of information.
On the other hand, it may just add to your
frustration if you find that you fall into one of the groups of women for
whom there appears to be a real, practical reason for a lack of orgasm
You may or may not be surprised to learn that the closer a woman's
clitoris is to her vagina, the more easily she's going to reach orgasm
during intercourse -- and that means stimulation from penetration alone
without any additional stimulation from fingers, tongue or toys.
The easy rule of thumb turns out to be that if a woman's vagina is less
than 2.5 cm from her clitoris, she is likely to experience orgasms during
sex quite reliably.
Unfortunately, for what must be the bulk of women, judging by the
statistics about how few women achieve orgasm during intercourse, if a
woman's clitoris is located
more than 2.5 cm from her vagina, then she is not likely to experience
orgasms during intercourse.
Interestingly enough, although you would have thought that this would have
been extensively researched in recent times,
this has not been investigated since 1920, when the first piece of research on
female orgasmic response (or the lack thereof) was conducted.
Marie Bonaparte was a French
psychoanalyst and friend of Freud
who investigated this very question because of the number of women that
she saw who complained about not being able to reach orgasm during
She published her observations in 1924, and, reanalyzed by Wallen, they
demonstrated a strong correlation with the results of his own research.
One thing that makes me feel there may be something in this work is that Wallen has
indicated that he thinks only about 7% of women reach orgasm during
this very low figure is much more in line with everything that I've learnt
about women's sexual responses in the 10 years that I've been working in
Over that time, I've seen many reports which suggested that up
of women reach orgasm during intercourse,
and I've never believed any of them. I actually think the proportion of
women who achieve orgasm during intercourse from penile thrusting alone is between
5% and 10% -- which is exactly in line with Wallen's conclusions.
Now, of course, this doesn't mean that any women who
have a large gap between the clitoris and vagina should be discouraged about
the possibility of getting satisfaction during sexual intercourse.
There are various positions which you can adopt to help this process: most
well-known of these is the
technique or CAT.
In any event, the ability to have orgasms with "no hands / penis only"
thrusting is not any guarantee of a happy sex life, because in some
ways penile-vaginal sex can be disconnected and remote: there are much more
activities for a couple to share, including oral sex, cuddling, mutual
masturbation, and intercourse after the man has brought the women to orgasm
through oral sex or massaging and caressing her both internally and externally.
What all this probably means is that couples need to be more imaginative and
inventive in how they approach sex, especially when dealing with a woman's
difficulty reaching orgasm during intercourse.
Mysteries of the female orgasm
There are some extraordinary mysteries
about the female orgasm (and, for that matter, the male orgasm too).
The fact that the neurophysiology of the
orgasm is a mystery is demonstrated by the fact that nobody as yet has
really explained how some individuals with complete spinal-cord severance
manage to have orgasms, or why the phenomenon of "orgasmic aura" can take
hold of a person with epilepsy just before a seizure: apparently the
sensations of the orgasmic aura is so pleasant that some epilepsy patients
refuse treatment so they don't lose the pleasure of these pseudo-orgasms.
Work is being done to uncover the
neurophysiology of the orgasm includes looking beyond the genitals to the
structure of the central nervous system and the brain, and in particular
how different regions of the nervous system interact during orgasm by
tracing nerve pathways to find areas of the brain that might be linked to
By using magnetic resonance imaging scans
during sexual activity, scientists are beginning to understand how the
brain works and how the nerve pathways actually produce the sensations of orgasm.
They've conducted this work using willing volunteers, who are happy to reach
orgasm either individually or together whilst having their brains scanned.
Barry R. Komisaruk, psychology professor
at Rutgers University, says that while there is a huge amount we don't
know about orgasms, science is now on the verge of discovering some
important information and understanding how it can be used in practical
terms to help people with orgasmic difficulties. This would include people
with multiple sclerosis, cancer, Parkinson's disease, diabetes, and even
One of the more interesting things about
orgasmic pleasure is
that we're not talking about how many people are missing out on it, even
though we're all brought up in a culture where sex and the achievement of
orgasmic ecstasy seem to be incredibly important. While it may be well
known that many people can't reach orgasm because they're on
antidepressant drugs, what's not so well known is that possibly around 30
or 40% of men and women in the United States have some degree of sexual
Because it's never been easy to discuss
sexuality, let alone study it (and there's no field of sexuality for which
that statement is more true than the study of the orgasm),
it's actually rather difficult to study orgasms scientifically, especially in the incredibly sexually inhibited
One of the chief difficulties in this field is that an orgasm is
actually quite difficult to define. We all know what one feels like,
but scientists are a little less confident in being able to explain how it
actually works in terms of the nervous system.
We do know that there
are three main nerve
pathways associated with stimulating the genitals: the pelvic, pudendal
and hypogastric nerves. Signals are sent along these nerves and enter
the spinal column before being passed to the brain regions that respond to sensations coming
from the genitals.
After processing, signals are sent back down the spinal column to the
genitals with instructions to lubricate the vagina, start an erection in a
produce engorgement of the genitals, increase the heart rate, contract the muscles of the
pelvic region so that orgasm is achieved ... and all the while,
make it feel very good to the person concerned.
So it would appear on the
face of it that having a severed spinal-cord would rule out all
possibility of orgasmic activity, and yet
there's plenty of evidence that this is not the case.
Dr. Marca Sipski-Alexander, had work published in 2001 and some years later
in which he reported that about half of men and women with varying degrees
of spinal-cord injury could obtain orgasms when stimulated appropriately
both the mind and body.
This seems to demonstrate that the normal
genital to spinal column to brain pathways are not the only ones that can
produce an orgasm.
One explanation for this is that a touch
which is not perceived by the brain can still produce an orgasm; this
would only be true of course if orgasm was a reflex, albeit one which was
optionally under conscious control. In other words, maybe all need to
produce an orgasm is some connection between pelvic stimulation and the
Even if this were true, we all know that an orgasm is much more than
just pelvic contractions and muscles spasms around the genitals. An orgasm
actually makes feel good,
so we have to explain how the brains of spinal-cord injured people could
sense orgasmic pleasure ...
...well, Professor Komisaruk and retired Rutgers University Professor
Beverly Whipple, who was one of the discoveries of the G spot, suggest
that orgasm isn't just a reflex.
They think there is an orgasmic pathway that bypasses the spine and which
can produce an orgasm: it's the vagus nerve network, which wonders throughout the
entire body, starting at the base of the brain and going down the neck (but not
through the spinal-cord column),
while stretching out into every major organ system in the body including
the uterus and cervix.
This may provide an explanation
of how people with spinal column damage can still reach orgasm.
In 2004 Komisaruk and Whipple stimulated
the cervixes of women whose spinal columns were
using MRI scanning to measure how their brains responded to the touch.
All the women reported feeling the
stimulation inside their cervix, and obviously since the brain lit up with
activity when the stimulation was applied, nerve impulses from the
stimulation were actually reaching the brain. Interestingly three of the
volunteers had an orgasm.
Orgasms elicit strong electoral activity in the nucleus accumbens, which
is effectively the reward centre of the brain, responding to stimulate such as
nicotine, chocolate and drugs;
there's also activity during orgasm in the cerebellum, which coordinates muscle activity;
and also in parts of the hypothalamus, a gland which releases oxytocin, a hormone known
to be released after a woman has reached orgasm which elicits a bonding
a sense of intimate trust with a partner.
It's also fascinating to note that some areas of the neocortex that respond to
pain also "fire up" during orgasm, an observation that might explain the
fact that people often look like they're in pain when they're coming.
Other areas of the brain which are clearly involved with orgasm include
the amygdala, the emotional centre of the brain, and the hippocampus, which deals with
memory. Activity in these regions is associated with the experience orgasmic pleasure
during epileptic seizures.
Interestingly enough, some areas of the
brain need to be inactive during orgasm: including a region behind the left
eyeball - the lateral orbitofrontal cortex - which has a role in
controlling sexuality and antisocial and impulsive tendencies.
Since an orgasm is generally associated
with loss of control, you might expect the regions of the brain associated
with the control of sex and impulsive behavior to shut down during sexual
arousal, and this is indeed the case. In fact there is an association
between the degree to which these parts of the brain shut down and how
aroused a woman actually is.
And this might even be one
of the reasons why people find auto-asphyxiation during sexual activity arousing --
because depriving the brain of blood can
decrease the activity of those parts which would normally inhibit sexual
Komisaruk is trying to
apply this new knowledge about how the brain works during sexual activity
and orgasm to people who have difficulty reaching orgasm. By using a kind
of biofeedback he has tried to train them to control the activity within
their brain, thereby hopefully giving them increased chances of reaching
For example, in some women who have
difficulty reaching orgasm, he is trying to help them increase activity in
the part of the brain associated with orgasm. However, at the moment this
all remains rather uncertain and unproven. It's a case of watch this
The clitoris, vagina, vulva and
Because a woman's sexual organs are for
the most part located inside the body, both men and women seem to have
less clarity and understanding about their appearance and function.
Certainly as far as the G-Spot is concerned this is true, because some
people still doubt that it even exists, while others maintain that it is
essential to full female sexual satisfaction.
So let's start by reviewing the structure
and anatomy of the female genitals. Some of this material is directed
specifically to women who wish to explore their own sexuality, although it
will always be clear where this is the case.
The bits that you can see from the
outside are collectively called the vulva. (See the illustration to the
left. This is a photo of a vulva with the hair removed.). There's the mons pubis,
not visible on the picture, which
is the area of tissue covered in pubic hair above the top
of the genitals.
It's a pad of fatty tissue which helps to absorb some of
the pressure during sexual thrusting, as the man's body impacts on the woman's
body as they make love.
Just down from the mons pubis there are two obvious folds of skin which
surround the opening of the vagina and the urethra (that's the hole
through which a woman
urinates, or in common language, pees).
The outer skin folds are called
the labia majora, or outer labia, and are covered with pubic hair. They are made up of fatty
tissue, and contain sweat and oil glands
which are responsible for both keeping the area moist and producing a
woman's particular personal scent -- which, incidentally, is sexually
arousing to men.
As you may know, the same tissue in the developing baby
gives rise to the scrotum in the male baby, and the labia majora in
the female baby.
That's why men and women respectively find stimulation of the scrotum and the
labia majora sexually arousing. Inside the labia majora are the labia
minora, or the inner labia, which are often
smaller, and always thinner, than the labia majora.
However, some women
have labia minora which project a long way beyond the labia majora, and
they may find this
embarrassing or uncomfortable if their labia rub, for example, on their underwear.
However, it's important to say that no matter how a woman may feel about the
appearance of her labia, any sexual partners will usually find them delightful and highly attractive.
Nonetheless, the potential discomfort of extended labia minora has led to
a whole industry of labiaplasty,
or surgical alteration, so that the labia conform to a more common cultural
image of what a woman's genitals "should" look like.
Because the labia minora do not have hair
and do not contain any fatty tissue, they are capable of swelling during sexual arousal as they fill with blood. Indeed,
the color of a woman's labia minora is a good indication of her level of
In a male baby these tissues are
responsible for forming the inner structure of the penis, so in both sexes
there is the capacity for engorgement or swelling of the genitals during
The clitoris, one of a woman's main
sexual organs, is located at the top of the junction of the labia minora. Although
only a small portion of the clitoris,
called the clitoral glans, which is usually no bigger than a pea, and often even smaller, is visible from the
outside of a woman's body, there is an extensive structure of clitoral
erectile tissue surrounding the vagina
out of sight inside a woman's body, and some people believe this is responsible for
a large part of her sexual pleasure during vaginal stimulation.
believe a separate area of tissue known as the G spot is responsible for
this sexual pleasure. Almost
every woman will know that stimulation of her clitoris is the easiest way
to orgasm. For men who want some information on female sexual techniques,
Lloyd Lester's Orgasm by
Command is fantastic - it explains female sexual anatomy and
reveals how to stimulate a woman to orgasm reliably.
Because the clitoris is like the penis in
men: it's made up of erectile tissue, swells on sexual arousal, and is
full of sexually sensitive nerve endings. Because of its erectile tissue,
the clitoris actually enlarges as a woman becomes more sexually aroused;
it's also responsible for most of the sexual stimulation signals
registered by woman's brain, and it's these which
cause her to reach
Again, like the penis, the clitoris has a
hood or prepuce, a fold of skin which covers the shiny, sensitive,
clitoral glans, and which draws back as the clitoris becomes erect. It's
an essential part of woman's sexual anatomy, because the clitoral glans is
so sensitive that direct stimulation before a woman is extremely aroused
can be so intense that it is almost painful rather than pleasurable.
Sexual touch becomes much more
pleasurable the more aroused a woman is, because the tissues are engorged
with blood and can take the pressure of sexual stimulation in this state:
there is also more lubrication available to smooth the sensation of touch
as a woman becomes more aroused, which also
makes the touch feel more pleasurable.
One of the most important things to
emphasize to a woman is that no matter what her genitals may look like,
they are perfectly normal and there is no reason for shame or
One of the problems in society is that
cultural images of what's acceptable or normal have become so widespread
that they have influenced women's thinking, particularly that of teenage
or adolescent girls, who now believe that they should have a perfectly
shaped, regular, symmetrical pair of labia, probably with pubic hair
removed. It's important for a woman to accept that whatever her genitals
look like they are normal, and also to find out what makes her comfortable
with her body, rather than simply buying into cultural stereotypes.
The smooth soft area between the labia
minora is known as the vestibule. Somewhere in this area of tissue is the
opening of the vagina and the outlet of the urethra, which is the opening
through which a woman urinates or pees. The urethral opening is between
the vaginal opening and the clitoris.
If you've never examined your genitals closely you may not have seen the
opening of your urethra, and to gain more acceptance and comfort with the
appearance and form of your body, it's worth spending some time examining
them with the aid of a mirror and a bright light.
You will see the structure and appearance of your genitals,
a process of exploration which can also be extremely pleasurable, and
which will also help you
to become more comfortable with your body, especially if you have any discomfort or
embarrassment about it at the moment.
If you cannot see the opening to your urethra you may well be able to feel
it with a fingertip: it's a very sensitive area and can provide much
pleasure during sexual stimulation if it's gently massaged by yourself or
your sexual partner.
The small paraurethral glands which some people believe are responsible
for female ejaculation open into the outlet of the urethra and are derived
from the same tissue as the prostate gland in the male baby. We shall come
back to the function of these glands later when we discuss the subject of
orgasm and female ejaculation.
We should emphasize that the clitoris is
the site of sexual pleasure for most women. If you want to know more about
this, check out this information on how
to have an orgasm or learn about how to
make a woman come by visiting this site.
Obviously, the opening of the vagina
leads through into the vagina itself: the vagina is not actually an open
tube, it's a set of muscular walls which can be parted by the entry of a
finger, tampon, penis or some other object such as a vibrator (or
obviously by the exit of baby).
The walls of the vagina are responsible
for secreting lubricating fluid when a woman becomes sexually aroused: the
process is triggered by engorgement of the vaginal walls, and is
equivalent to the obvious sign of sexual arousal in a man - the
development of an erection.
As one travels up into the vagina, one is
really entering a part of the human body that few people other than
doctors will ever see. The vagina is a sheath, a tube whose walls are made
up of muscles, erectile tissue and fibrous tissue, all lined with a mucous
membrane which is both smooth, warm and moist.
It opens up to accommodate the man's
erect penis during sexual intercourse, it's the passage through which a
baby is born (except for any delivered by cesarean section), and it also
serves as the exit for the monthly menstrual discharge from the uterus in
a woman who is ovulating and not on the contraceptive pill.
the cervix, the opening of the
uterus, protrudes into the vagina (see pictures on this link), some remarkable changes in shape take place during
sexual arousal so that the vagina is best shaped to accommodate the pool
of ejaculated semen,
thereby maximizing the chances of fertilization of the woman's eggs.
The size and shape of the vagina is quite
variable, both within the same woman, and between women. It's only about
four a half inches long during its normal "resting"
it does increase in length during sexual arousal
so that it can accommodate the length of the erect penis, which is on
average about 6 inches long: the changes which occur will be described
It certainly isn't a passive organ; its
outer layer is made up of circular muscles, and its inner layer is made up
of longitudinal muscles, all of which means that it has the capacity to
contract and tighten and relax and expand during sex, thereby providing
additional pleasure to both the woman and the man.
It's been claimed that
only the first one third of the vaginal tube or "barrel"
contains many nerve endings. This is a somewhat contentious claim, as the
discovery of the so-called "A spot" would suggest that there are actually
plenty of nerves
along the whole length of the vagina (unless, as some would claim, that the pressure within the
vagina that gives rise to sexual pleasure is actually stimulating the
structures of the clitoris that lie around the vaginal barrel).
Even so, it is a fact that one of the most sensitive parts of the vagina
is located on the upper wall (as a woman lies on her back)
only about one or two inches inside:
this is the G-Spot, or Grafenberg spot, which is responsible for producing
vaginal orgasms or a sensation of enhanced clitoral orgasm - which is
what is most commonly experienced by women.
The close proximity of this very
sensitive area to the opening of the vagina demonstrates one compelling
reason why it is not necessary for a man to have a particularly large
penis to give a woman very fulfilling sexual pleasure during intercourse.
Although many of the muscles in the
vagina are smooth muscles, which is the type of muscle not under conscious
or voluntary control, and they undergo
automatic reflex responses during sexual arousal, as we've already
mentioned there are also circular and longitudinal muscles which are under
a woman's voluntary control
and which she can contract and relax at will. These are the pubococcygeal
muscles, or PC muscles for short, which can be strengthened through a series
of Kegel exercises.
As we have already mentioned, the
interior of the vagina is lined by mucous membrane, which secretes mucus
designed to maintain the normal, healthy environment inside the vaginal
space. The bacteria that live in this space produce a slightly acidic
environment which protects the vagina from harmful bacteria and yeast
When the normal acid/alkali balance of
the vagina is disturbed, infections such as Candida (also known as yeast
or thrush) may develop. Oddly enough, semen is one of the compounds most
likely to disrupt the natural balance of the vagina, although under normal
circumstances it is quite capable of maintaining a healthy balance.
If you're experiencing repeated
infections or irritation it may be worth speaking to a doctor to try and
establish the source of these infections and what you can do to keep them
Another alternative, of course, is for the man to use a
condom during sex to control the amount of semen that flows into the
vagina, and this strategy has another obvious advantage - that a man with
premature ejaculation may be able to last longer with the help of a condom
than he can without one.
For men with delayed ejaculation, however, the
emission and ejaculation of semen may be even more challenging when the
man wears a condom.
The opening of the vagina, as explained
before, is set within the area of the vestibule, a smooth and lubricated
area of tissue between the labia. Before puberty, i.e. before sexual
activity or menstrual flow begins, a thin membrane of skin called the
hymen covers the opening of the vagina.
The discharge associated with
yeast infection will pass through the hymen, just as menstrual blood flows
This membrane has been seen as a sign of
virginity, and the rupture of the hymen together with a small flow of
blood has been regarded as an important sign of the loss of a woman's
virginity and purity in many cultures. Even today, some societies have
ritual celebrations whereby a newly married couple is expected to show a
bloodstained sheet after the wedding night.
Of course, what lies behind this
primitive, crude and unsophisticated ritual is a patriarchal expectation
that a woman will be a virgin when she marries a man, thereby
demonstrating her husband's right to possess her, own her, and inseminate
We need hardly say that a truly civilized
and comparatively sophisticated society that is truly supportive of
women's sexual rights would not necessarily expect a mature woman to be a
virgin when she establishes a sexual relationship with a man. In any
event, the hymen was never a good indicator of virginity because it can
rupture during exercise or sporting activity, or even during exploration
by woman's own finger.
As the importance of the hymen has
lessened in Western society, the obsession with a woman's virginity has
also reduced, and so the myths that have grown around how painful it is to
have it broken during a woman's first experience of intercourse have been
exposed as the falsehoods that they are. Here are some images of the hymen
around the opening of the vagina. You can click on them to see them
At the rear end of the vagina, the
opening of the uterus called the cervix protrudes into the vaginal barrel
on the front wall of the vagina. Because the uterus
is located at a right angle to the vagina, the vagina does not simply
merge seamlessly with the cervix; rather,
the opening of the cervix is on
the top of the vagina and at right angles to it.
This arrangement leaves the blind end of the vagina located beneath the
uterus and beyond the cervix, and this area of the vagina is called the fornix.
The anterior area of the vaginal fornix has been called the "A zone" or
"A spot", and is regarded by some as an extremely sensitive area responsible
massive sexual pleasure when a woman is highly sexually aroused -- we will come
back to this possibility later.
More practically, the fornix absorbs the
man's thrusts during intercourse,
as well as forming a space for the pool of semen produced when a woman's
lover has ejaculated inside her.
When a woman reaches orgasm, her cervix
rhythmically dips down into this pool of semen,
a mechanism which is thought to increase the chance of fertilization
(although a cynic might say that judging by the number of people in the
world, and in particular the number of unwanted babies, Mother Nature has provided the
"dipping cervix" mechanism as a completely
superfluous and unnecessary device for ensuring fertilization!). (The upsuck theory of female orgasm is not regarded as valid any longer.)
The G-Spot is an interesting part of the
vagina, one whose very existence has been hotly debated by both men and
women for some time. Now that there is evidence that the G-Spot is indeed
an area of tissue
different from the rest of the vaginal wall, we can say with confidence
that it has a role to play in a woman's sexual arousal. It isn't actually
a single spot,
it's more of an area on the vagina wall which is extremely sensitive.
Action is a
very good way of avoiding self-pity, because it takes you out into
the world and allows you to see how you reflect off other people –
and besides which, action is always a distraction if you find you're
obsessed with negative thinking and obsessing about your weaknesses!
theory is that it's an area where pressure will stimulate the structures
of the clitoris which lie around the vagina, but the more commonly accepted viewpoint is that it's an area where pressure
applied to the vagina wall will stimulate the paraurethral glands, which
is a process similar to stimulating a man's prostate gland
through his rectal wall or perineum.
Deborah Sundahl has studied the area
extensively and written a book which describes it in great detail; the
book is entitled
"Female Ejaculation and the G-spot". She makes the claim, which we would
support, that the G-Spot is an area of the vagina wall very closely
related to a network of erectile tissue and glands around the vagina
which are indeed equivalent to the male prostate tissue.
One Italian team
has demonstrated through magnetic resonance imaging that women who are
able to reach orgasm through stimulation of the G-Spot do indeed have
a thicker layer of tissue at this point between the walls of the vagina
and urethra, presumably implying that they have more prostatic-type tissue
and therefore find it easier to reach orgasm through stimulation of this
area. This was reported in the New Scientist magazine, February 23rd 2008.
Of course some women do not experience
vaginal orgasms and are comparatively insensitive to internal vaginal stimulation.
Others appear not to have a secondary paraurethral tissue in the region of
the G-Spot. What we to make of these differences between women?
Proponents of the G-Spot orgasm would say
that women who do not experience a sexual response to internal stimulation
have not yet been "awakened" or sensitized to the possibility of
stimulation in this area, and there is a certain amount of anecdotal
evidence which suggests that there may be some truth to this viewpoint --
not least of which is the fact that men have to learn to enjoy stimulation
of their prostate.
It's also possible that there are natural
variations between women in the region of the G-Spot, just as there are in
any other characteristic of the human body.
But, all in all, it is a fact that all
women can learn to enjoy sexual stimulation in this area, and it is indeed
a region which is more sensitive than the rest of the vagina in all women,
so it seems likely that some women can enjoy a vaginal orgasm, and that
the G-Spot does indeed become more sensitive and possibly even enlarged
due to stimulation over a period of time -- just as any other part of the
body develops in response to direct stimulation.
Even so, many women and men suggest the
G-spot may not exist because they have unrealistic ideas about how it
works. If you regard the G-spot as a convenient way of accessing an
orgasm, you're certain to experience considerable disappointment!
As with all the other erectile sexual
tissue in the human body, the area of the G-spot tissue requires time and
appropriate stimulation with a finger (or a penis) to become fully
engorged with blood; after it has fully swollen, it becomes receptive to
more intense stimulation and responds with much stronger and more
pleasurable sexual sensations.
The G-spot enlarges and protrudes more into the vagina; it also changes
texture from feeling ridged and rough to feeling swollen and smooth. With
stimulation, which may make it swell considerably and even engorge with
"female ejaculate", a kind of prostatic fluid from the paraurethral
the G-spot can even
become so large that it forces the finger from the vagina.
For any women who is exploring the G spot
for the first time, the watchword is "patience". You need to give yourself
time and enough gentle stimulation until the
G spot becomes responsive and aroused.
Deborah Sundahl's book is one of the most helpful resources available to
any woman who seeks to develop her sexuality in general and the
responsivity of her
G spot in particular.
It is especially good on how stimulation
of the G spot can produce a much more loving state for a woman, one in
which her heart opens and she is much more able to enter fully into
relationship with a man. And by that I mean
One of the key measures to developing this level of
sexual sensitivity is to use Kegel exercises to strengthen the muscles of
the pelvic area and the vagina, and another is to stimulate the area of
the G spot on a regular basis. You can do this by exploring your vagina
with a well-lubricated finger in the area where the G spot is located -
you may wish to use plenty of artificial lubricant.
The G spot is located somewhere on the
front wall of the vagina.....but since how far inside it is located varies
from woman to woman, you will need to experiment by exploring your vagina.
You can locate the area of extra sensitivity fairly easily, simply because
pressing it with a finger will feel different from pressing on any other
area on the inside wall of the vagina.
Men who have explored this area say that
it is a quick and easy way to stimulate a woman to orgasm - but more than
that, it is a great way to take a woman into her emotions.... and thence
into emotional connection, heart-centered connection, in fact.
Take your time so that the erectile
tissues can respond to stimulation. Allow yourself to be guided by the
feelings you experience; your body will guide you about where you
experience the most rewarding and pleasurable sensations. You may
experience a degree of numbness or some other less comfortable sensations
when you press or stroke the area of the upper inside vaginal wall.
If so, then stop the stimulation for a
moment and and check whether the rest of your body is comfortable or
tense. Try to relax and just breath deeply for a few moments. Let yourself
know what is happening in your body. Then see whether you want to change
your approach in any way, for example by altering the pressure or
direction of your touch or by using more lubricant.
Because of negative sexual experiences,
there are unfortunately rather a lot of women who have become disconnected
from the sensations which their genitals are capable of producing.
The G spot in particular seems to only
produce a powerful sexual response when a woman is free of major sexual
trauma; interestingly enough, gentle stimulation of the G spot seems to be
one of the ways in which sexual trauma can be healed.
There may well be profound release of
deep emotions when the G spot is stimulated, provided the woman feels
safe, perhaps with a sexual partner whom she respects and trusts.
Many women are very cut off from the
sensations in their genitals, which can then
end up feeling numb or uncomfortable. You - or your partner - may need to
massage your G-spot area gently over time to nurture it back into its
capacity to achieve sexual responsivity and sensitivity.
As we explore the vagina more deeply, we
pass from the realm of what can be seen outside the body or even felt by
the woman during sexual intercourse into the hidden area of the uterus, Fallopian tubes and ovaries.
Latest news - the G spot exists! Check out this piece of research which
shows what women knew all along - the G spot is real.
Dr A Ostrzenski, a gynecologist, confirmed the existence of the G-spot,
although it seems to be small - less than a fingernail in size. Dr Ostrzenski, in the Journal of Sexual
Medicine, says it is a clear sack on the perineal membrane, and concluded
that his study shows the anatomic existence of the G-spot, named after Ernst Grafenberg, a German
gynecologist who discovered it in 1950. If a woman is educated in how to find it, she will experience the full pleasure of sex
when it is stimulated during intercourse or masturbation.
[ Increasing Your Confidence ] [ Female sexual arousal ] [ Ways for a woman to climax ] [ How women reach orgasm - and how often ] [ How to enjoy extended orgasm ] [ How to develop extended orgasm ] [ Advice for women on ejaculation ] [ Early sexual behavior ] [ Sexual fantasy and orgasm in men and women ] [ How to manifest a better sexual relationship ]
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