The Female Orgasm Explored

Early Sexual Behavior Among Women

Written 1970

38% of all the women in the sample had had experience of intercourse before becoming engaged with men other than their fiancées. This again indicates a new trend, but the numbers involved in no way conform with the estimates of those who insist that we have a permissive society.

Many episodes of first time sex end in rapid ejaculation, because neither of the couple know what they are doing, and this rapid ejaculation often means no pleasure whatsoever for the girl.

Young men need to learn some techniques and gain some knowledge of premature ejaculation control before they have sex.

You can get that from a good self-help program - such as the Ejaculation By Command Review here. If you are in this situation, you may find reading that work gives you and your partner a real chance of a sexually satisfying first time experience!

The attitudes of women to early sexual caresses suggests that women have changed, but not much. This is revealed by the answers to the questions "Were you prepared to let boys caress you sexually, provided they did not go 'all the way'?": Answers: Yes 27.7%  No 37.5%   If I liked the boy 34.8%

The reactions to the loss of virginity provide an interesting picture in view of the opinions expressed about the importance, or unimportance of protecting the hymen. Of those who lost their virginity before they married, 55% felt guilt, shame or a similar emotion; 35% felt nothing at all; while the remaining 10% felt relief or pride.

Among the remarks made by those who felt guilt or shame were:

'I was frightened of being found out.'

'I was greatly aroused and excited, but I subconsciously felt I was doing something wrong.'

'I felt guilty and wondered whether other girls who had had the experience felt the same.' 'I felt cheap. I rationalized by blaming the man and started hating him. Yet I felt very close to him, but at the same time could no longer see him clearly as a person.'

"Awful guilt. I hated myself for letting down what I had been brought up to believe was right.' 'I thought I would never be respected again.'

'Horrified! But after second or third intercourse, all I feared was getting pregnant.'

'Terror of being pregnant, and I also knew that once I'd started I wouldn't be able to stop, and this was upsetting.'

'I was entirely numb, then very depressed, but I consoled myself by telling myself that I had reached womanhood.'

'Shame. I thought it would show.' 

'It worried me. I felt as though I were caught between the two opposing poles of my parents' teaching and my growing affection for my boy-friend (who became my fiancée).' 

'I regretted it and hated myself.' 'It meant very much, something that couldn't be replaced. I felt very upset and sorry.' 'I regretted it deeply. Something very precious had been lost through my extreme stupidity.'

48% of all those who had sexual intercourse worried about what it would be like beforehand, 52% did not.

The first experience of intercourse lived up to the expectations of 54%, exceeded the expectations of 8%, and disappointed 38% - which is a pity, but not to be wondered at, taking into account the lack of expertise of their lovers.

70% of all the women did not enjoy their first intercourse whenever it happened, either inside or outside marriage.

This argues for more expert lovers, but it was really the logical outcome, since all the figures so far gathered show that men are not so experienced in sexual techniques as they would have us believe, at least, not until they have been making love regularly for some time.

It would also seem that unmarried men do not pay much attention to sex techniques - see -  whether they are promiscuous or not.

Sexologists would have us believe - and I have to admit that I have subscribed to their pronouncements in the past - that girls do not know quite what happens to the penis when it becomes erect, and that unless they are cunningly introduced to it, the first experience of it may be traumatic. It was to try to discover whether women were so sexually sensitive, that I asked the three questions:

(1) Before you had intercourse, did you know what it meant by a boy having an erection?

(2) How did you first encounter an erect penis, by feel or sight?

(3) Were you surprised (or frightened) by the size of the erect penis? If frightened, why?

The answer to the first question was that 88% did know. 20% first encountered an erect penis by sight; 2% could not remember; 78 % first encountered it by feel; 60% were neither frightened nor shocked; 2.2% did not know what to expect.

Of the remainder, 47% were surprised or frightened - they wondered if they would be able to take it and were surprised by its strength (stiffness) and some were shocked!

So much for the sexologists! Women are much more knowledgeable about male sexuality than they are given credit for.

However, women are still quite modest creatures, as is revealed by the answers to the question "Were you prepared to caress a boy sexually, or did you have to be persuaded?" Only 29% declared themselves to be prepared to do so, while 15.5% were neither prepared nor to be persuaded. In other words, 55.5% took refuge in modesty. One wonders whether this was female guilt or genuine feminine reluctance.

And is it modesty or laziness which prompts so many girls (22.2%) to leave the techniques of love-making to their partners? On the other hand, I was personally greatly heartened by the fact that 78% believe that they should learn techniques and be as active a partner as the boys. This, in fact, is the most significant of all the new features in modern sexual behavior.

Yet, in spite of this, in practice, of those who believed that making love should be shared, 57.4% left it entirely to their partners. Perhaps this was a natural corollary of the fact that 64% of girls believed their partners would have had experience of intercourse before they met. One hopes that later they became more consistent with their view and transformed themselves into knowledgeable lovers.

For those who had seen a naked boy or man outside the members of the family, the youngest age was 15 and the oldest was 28. In contrast with men, the majority were in the 17-20 age-group (45% - men 22%).

There were none in the pre-pubertal group (men 17%), and the early adolescent group - 15 to 16 - were represented by 14%. The over-20s group - the largest for men with 36% - almost equaled men with 36%. In the past, there has been a reluctance even among married people to let themselves be seen naked by their partners.

This attitude has, in my opinion, led to many problems arising in the marital sexual relationship, and it was to test whether such false modesty still exists that I asked the question, "Did you and your fiancé see one another naked before marriage?"

Since women are still more modest than men, I put it to them. I was encouraged by the fact - because I believe it is so important that husbands and wives should not be inhibited in this way - that 84% of engaged couples saw one another naked. Even of those who had not, but who were married, 100% made love naked. These views and this behavior suggest to me that at last women have begun to travel along the path of real sexual emancipation.

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