What's The Best Sex Position
To Give YOU All You Want In Your Lovemaking?

The Missionary Sex Position - With Some New Twists!

For excitement, something new, something that can help you escape a sense of boredom during sex, you need to try new sexual techniques on a regular basis.

The variations on the missionary position you can see below will provide that sense of something different. And, if you want to enjoy the sight of the man entering the woman, a feeling of deep penetration, eye to eye gazing, and full body contact, the best sex position is the missionary position. Believe it or not, sex in this position can be much more satisfying than sex in almost any other.

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For good or bad, sex in the man on top (or "missionary") position can make a man ejaculate very quickly. The fact is that while all men want perfect control and long staying power, few of us have the self-control or discipline to extend the length of time for which we're able to make love. This is the preserve of the Lover - the part of us which always seeks out pleasurable new experiences that are based on connection: sexual, romantic, loving, and so on.

Even among men who generally have a sense of self-control, the excitement of the missionary sex position can be a step too far, with sudden spurting being the order of the day! This does tend to mean that this isn't a great way for a man to make a woman cum during sex.

But one of the ways you can deal with the added excitement produced by the raunchy sexual techniques you can see illustrated above is to pause during lovemaking - to slow down or stop moving altogether, so that the man can regain control of his ejaculation before lovemaking resumes. 

And that may be a good opportunity to add extra spice into the mix by playing with the woman's clitoris. That'll keep her arousal high, letting him resume where he left off when he's recovered his self-control. It's even possible to reach orgasm together if you time things right. 

The main way you can both get variation from man on top sex is to have the woman move her legs further back or up. You can see some of the postures she might try adopting in the pictures above.

Each time she moves her legs further back or tighter together, she alters the tightness of her vagina, and possibly the angle too, which gives both the woman and her partner different sexual sensations, different depths of penetration, and different rates of progress towards orgasm. So there you have it - a way of changing how fast or slow you get to climax - but you have to experiment....

Our advice is to throw caution to the winds, try everything you can - move around, take time out, relax, start again.....those new twists will give you a whole new perspective on the good old missionary position. 

More notes on missionary position sex

When a couple make love with the man on top, the best position for sex is with the woman laying on her back, with her legs flat on the bed; new sex position variations include having the woman's legs drawn back up towards her chest, or wrapped around her lover.

She has the choice of wrapping either just one or both of her legs around her partner in several ways: she can wrap them around him behind his legs, over his buttocks, around his back, or even at the height of his shoulders - provided she's flexible enough! The effect of each new sex position is different: but the man will always be able to achieve deeper penetration the higher she has her legs.

Obviously, the man lays on top of her, at least in the basic sex position. He generally has his legs between hers, and to make penetration easy, he must be positioned so that his erect penis is around the entrance to his partner's vulva.

(In other variations of this sex position, he can raise his body up somewhat, even kneeling to enter his partner, as you can see in the pictures above.) 

Firm pillows can be very useful in helping a couple enter the man on top position. If that's a new sex position technique, do try it out. You'll find it makes a heck of a difference to the ease of penetration.

And if the pillow is wedge-shaped, it can raise the woman's hips and buttocks and thereby change the angle and depth to which the man's penis enters his partner's vagina.

Furthermore, there's also the exciting possibility that lifting the woman's pelvis with a pillow will allow the man's pelvis to exert more pressure on her clitoris as he thrusts into her. So - does that make man on top the best sex position for knowing how to make her orgasm or giving her an orgasm during sex?

Possibly - but the devil is in the detail, as the saying has it: for some men, who take the care to stimulate their partner by finding a new variation of the position where the pressure of the erect penis pulls on the woman's clitoris, or a new sex position where the man's body presses against her clitoris as he thrusts, knowing how to make a girl come during sex is easy.

For others, who become absorbed in their own pleasure, or who reach the point of ejaculation quickly, man on top sex can provide the man with much pleasure but the woman receives little or no fulfillment. The way to deal with this is to ensure she has an orgasm before he enters her - or for him to learn some ejaculation control techniques!

Since the couple have such intimate bodily contact, it's fun to apply some slippery lubricant to the man and woman's chest so that they can enjoy sliding their bodies along each other - and if the man has a tendency to come too quickly, using some lubricant on his penis or in her vagina before sex begins will reduce friction - perhaps enabling him to discover ways to last longer in bed.

(The woman is not likely to be affected very much by this since she is probably going to reach orgasm by indirect stimulation of her clitoris - that means manipulation by her partner's hand or her own hand.) One option worth exploring is having the woman bend her legs at the knees and lift them while she keeps her feet flat on the mattress.

Apparently this new position has the effect of shortening her vagina and even exposing her G spot to more stimulation. Another advantage is that this position is very likely indeed to provide greater comfort for her.

In addition, with the leverage of her feet on the bed, she can thrust back against her lover's movement, providing greater involvement for her and more physical sensations for them both.

And following on from what we said above, it's now probably obvious to you that when the woman's legs are high up towards her head, she offers the possibility of the greatest depth of penetration.

However, the man's glans penis is in danger of hitting her cervix, which can be uncomfortable, so care is needed when the man makes his initial thrusts. 

The variation known as "Riding High" can offer greater chance of the woman reaching orgasm during intercourse. This is the famous - or infamous, since few people have ever fully understood the instructions! - Coital Alignment Technique. This is reputedly the best sex position for the woman to have an orgasm during intercourse, but we believe that distinction really belongs to the woman on top sex position and all of its variations.

The instructions for the CAT usually offered to those wishing to try it out are: the man enters his partner as normal, then shifts his whole body up and forwards. He then rock his pelvis, rather than thrusting, and uses the area around the base of his penis to stimulate the area of her clitoris.

In other words, the woman gets more clitoral stimulation, but the man loses the reward of deep thrusting.

Will it suit you, this new sexual position variation? 

There's lots to be said for the sex with the man on top: it's romantic, the man and woman can kiss, there's lots of whole body contact, the couple can enjoy eye to eye gazing as they make love, and they can hold each other in their arms as they enjoy sex. 

And it's damn sexy!

Even better, it's possible for a couple to guide each other's movements by holding their lover's hips during their coupling. And, man on top sex allows the couple to see each other, feel each other, taste, touch and hear each other.....it's the best sex position for complete sensory immersion in your lover!

More profoundly, the woman can enjoy the feeling of being held down, slightly submissive, being trapped by her lover, and even bearing the weight of her lover as he rests above her.

Thus, if you're a woman gets a kick out of being "taken" by your man, this is the ideal way to do it; and since the man has control of the rhythm and speed of thrusting - at least, most of the control - the woman can focus on getting pleasure rather than pleasuring her partner.

We know that thrusting alone brings very few women to orgasm: according to a survey conducted by sexual techniques in June 2010, only 5% of women claim to reach orgasm easily through thrusting, while another 5% of women say they can do it occasionally.

What brings a woman to orgasm is a combination of her partner's hard erect cock filling her vagina, the friction of the man's body on her pelvis, thighs, belly and chest, and - more importantly than anything else, perhaps - the sense of being loved, trusted and respected by her partner (and vice versa).

Another great advantage of the position is that it allows easy access to the vagina on the part of the man, who can enter his partner without too much trouble, assisted by the fact that the woman can relax her vaginal muscles and guide her man's penis in with her hand.

It's usually thought that this sex position suits everyone, but the reality is rather different - not all penises and vaginas have the same angle or shape, so it follows that some couples will need a different orientation to others.

Indeed, the woman on top sex position may offer many couples a better experience (especially for first time sex, because the woman can control the depth and speed of sex - thus lowering her anxiety and making the experience less scary).

The man on top position has been criticized by many authors who see it as supportive of the dominant role of men in wider society. But it's a simplistic view, one which assumes that it's not romantic because it signifies a relationship based on authoritarian control of one partner by the other.

It keeps, so Gina Ogden asserts, one person on top with another underneath. She writes: "Think what will happen to the man on top position when women, en masse, opt for pleasures that stir body and soul instead of continuing to do good-girl intercourse by the book." This is a statement which, in itself, denies women the possibility of having power and changing the balance of energy during sex.

New sexual techniques with the man on top - and much more variation!

If you don't want to settle for the same-old sexual routine, using the same sex position for the hundredth time in a row, but you do want some of the amazing power of the man on top position (male dominance, female goddess energy, deep penetration, and a very sexy experience with powerful orgasms - plus a real feeling of connection to your partner) then try something new, using variations which provide excitement and arousal, offer you the sight of penetration, and are really sexy!

 Have a look at what you can do to change man on top sex into something spicier:

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man on top sex positions man on top sex positions man on top sex positions

Most men like watching themselves penetrate their partner - it's extremely arousing and sexy. Great! As you can see from the photographs above, man on top is a position which you can adapt so everything is very visible to the man!

The second photo shows a variation which gives him a great view of the proceedings, and certainly adds a new twist to her experience of sex. Though she can't move much, and might feel like his sex toy, this new sex position can be interesting to explore - it may bring out deeper feelings and experiences than the straightforward man on top - so it's good for discovering how you feel about sex and what goes into your sexual relationship.

On the other hand, you might just want to enjoy a raunchy session of screwing, without going too much into the sexual politics of male and female dominance!

Women often like to have their legs together during sex, to increase the pressure in the vagina and possibly also on the labia, so it's possible that, with the right partner, the bottom picture could provide a means to that end.

If he can alter the position of her legs as he thrusts, he'll give them both a new and deliciously different experience of sex. Trouble is, it might take a bit of strength and stamina!

The man on top sex position has many attractive things going for it - it's the best sex position for a romantic experience, with the man and woman facing each other, being able to hold eye contact; it's also the best sex position for full body contact, skin-to-skin contact; and of course, incurable romantics - and everyone else, for that matter - can hold each other in their arms.

There's plenty of opportunity for intimate contact, including kissing, and you can guide your partner's hips with your hands. In short, man on top positions let partners make love with all their senses fully stimulated.

Some women like to feel submissive or "surrounded" by their partner during sex. Once a couple are making love in the man on top position, the woman cannot get away, so those who enjoy being passive and feeling their partner's weight may find this a very rewarding position.

Other women like to know the man dominates during the rhythm and depth of penetrative thrusts, and may even find it simpler and easier to achieve orgasm because they can relax and let the man take charge.

Needless to say, if a woman is into being "taken" by her man, and likes the feeling of being dominated and perhaps even overpowered, this is a by far the best sex position for her to indulge those feelings.

We all know thrusting alone is not enough to bring a woman to orgasm - what gets her there is arousal, pressure and friction on her clitoris, and being loved by a man who wants and appreciates her, emotionally as well as physically. This may be where the CAT can help.

The man on top position is certainly the best sexual position for first-timers, simply because it's very comfortable. Most discomfort around penetrative sex is caused by tension in the thigh or pelvic muscles, and lack of arousal or lubrication.

This can be reduced if you put pillows under the woman's bottom so her hips are are tilted upwards - this makes her more relaxed and sex is then easier - a fact which is true for all couples, not just those having sex for the first time!

But in general, man on top positions allow easy penetration. The posture helps the woman's pelvic musculature to relax, and she can guide her partner's penis into her body with her hand.

And once he's in there, there's a natural match between the average shape of the penis and the curve of the vagina in the man on top posture; although men with a downward curving erection may find this posture less comfortable for intercourse than those with an upwards curve to the organ, a shape which is more common.

So are there any disadvantages to sex in the missionary position? Sadly, yes.

 The deep penetration and powerful hip thrusts which are possible can cause the man to rush headlong to orgasm, possibly depriving his partner of pleasure and shortening the time for which  a couple are intimately connected: most men lose their erection after they've ejaculated, so sex is most likely to stop when he has climaxed, possibly leaving his partner hanging in frustration.

 Swapping between intercourse and cunnilingus or just cuddling can slow the man down, but unfortunately such strategies tends to make her arousal drop as well - and it can be harder for her to become aroused once again than it is for him.

The man on top position has been called "vanilla sex", which you have to assume is not intended as a flattering remark!

However, it seems to satisfy the preferences of many couples, which suggests the feminists and activists who claim the position is a metaphor for the position of women in society at large - subjugated, dominated by men, accepting a male-superior position - may have missed the point.

Man on top sex feels good for both sexes...it's not about being a good, obedient, compliant girl, it's just that that people like having sex this way! 

Another issue, as we've mentioned, is that women usually don't achieve orgasm during penetrative sex: the CAT addresses this - clitoral stimulation can be achieved when the man raises his body and rubs his pelvic mound against his partner's clitoris. Alternatively, either she or he can stimulate her clitoris manually; for example, the man can reach down and place his thumb on her clitoris.

Want to know more about the CAT?

QUESTION: I have a quick question for you....I am having problems myself. I have never had an orgasm during sex and it is frustrating me. Do you have any suggestions, or can you point me in a direction where I can get help. Is it possible the position of my clit is making it harder? Any help would be appreciated! - L.

REPLY: There are many reasons that women can't have orgasms during sex.

It's a very complicated issue. The detail I wish I had here is whether you are unable to have orgasms during oral, manual, or masturbation... I'm going to assume that you CAN, and that this is just an issue of not being able to climax during intercourse - or, as it is medially termed - suffering delayed ejaculation. Otherwise the "position" issue wouldn't be an issue, right?

I should also point out that the average position of a woman's clitoris makes it very difficult to stimulate during intercourse, and it is very common for women who are more comfortable orgasming through clitoral stimulation to have challenges with coming during penetration.

In other words: You're not weird. So I'm going to assume, for lack of details, that this is what you are experiencing. There is a sexual position that most couples find effective for working around this issue.

It's called CAT, which stands for "Coital Alignment Technique" and it works like this. Have your partner begin on top as in a regular "missionary position", and then, while he is inside of you, have him scoot up higher on your body about 6 inches.

This will cause the direction of his thrust to angle downward if you're doing it right... but more important to the point that we're interested in, the top of his penis will now contact your clitoris.

From here you should wrap your legs around his legs and cross your ankles, and then work your crossed ankles downwards towards his feet. Once you are in this position, he can control the "in/out" motion with his hips, but YOU control the pressure on your clitoris by moving your hips to create a rocking motion that squeezes the body of the clit between him and your pubic bone.

When you first get into the position you might find it a bit awkward, but just mess around with the motions for a minute or so until you get that rocking thing going... then have him add in his motion to sync up with your rhythm.

Now, not all men have a great sense of rhythm, so let him take a minute to get it right... When you get these movements synchronized just right, you will get all of the clitoral stimulation you need and if all goes well, it will send you right into orbit!

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