A Review Of Female Sexuality, Orgasm and Ejaculation  

A Review Of Women's Sexuality and
The Achievement Of Orgasm & Female Ejaculation

We are a husband and wife team of sexual therapists, and we aim to remove some of the mystery that both men and women may feel when looking at the female body. Even today, when sexualized images of woman are all around us in society, there is a shortage of high quality information available. If you're a woman who has doubts about her own body, read on, and be reassured that whatever your genitals look like, they are normal, and capable of giving you great pleasure; and, if you're a man, who perhaps needs to know more about female sexuality, we hope you find the information interesting. In any case, feel free to email us with questions or queries. We have plenty of experience in the world of sexual psychotherapy!

The clitoris, vagina, vulva and cervix

Because a woman's sexual organs are for the most part located inside the body, both men and women seem to have less clarity and understanding about their appearance and function. Certainly as far as the G-Spot is concerned this is true, because some people still doubt that it even exists, while others maintain that it is essential to full female sexual satisfaction. So let's start by reviewing the structure and anatomy of the female genitals. Some of this material is directed specifically to women who wish to explore their own sexuality, although it will always be clear where this is the case.

The bits that you can see from the outside are collectively called the vulva. (See the illustration to the left. This is a photo of a vulva with the hair removed.). There's the mons pubis, not visible on the picture, which is the area of tissue covered in pubic hair above the top of the genitals. It's a pad of fatty tissue which helps to absorb some of the pressure during sexual thrusting, as the man's body impacts on the woman's body as they make love. Just down from the mons pubis there are two obvious folds of skin which surround the opening of the vagina and the urethra (that's the hole through which a woman urinates, or in common language, pees). The outer skin folds are called the labia majora, or outer labia, and are covered with pubic hair. They are made up of fatty tissue, and contain sweat and oil glands which are responsible for both keeping the area moist and producing a woman's particular personal scent -- which, incidentally, is sexually arousing to men. 

As you may know, the same tissue in the developing baby gives rise to the scrotum in the male baby, and the labia majora in the female baby. That's why men and women respectively find stimulation of the scrotum and the labia majora sexually arousing. Inside the labia majora are the labia minora, or the inner labia, which are often smaller, and always thinner, than the labia majora. However, some women have labia minora which project a long way beyond the labia majora - vulva pictures, and they may find this embarrassing or uncomfortable if their labia rub, for example, on their underwear. However, it's important to say that no matter how a woman may feel about the appearance of her labia, any sexual partners will usually find them delightful and highly attractive. Nonetheless, the potential discomfort of extended labia minora has led to a whole industry of labiaplasty, or surgical alteration, so that the labia conform to a more common cultural image of what a woman's genitals "should" look like.

Because the labia minora do not have hair and do not contain any fatty tissue, they are capable of swelling during sexual arousal as they fill with blood. Indeed, the color of a woman's labia minora is a good indication of her level of sexual arousal. In a male baby these tissues are responsible for forming the inner structure of the penis, so in both sexes there is the capacity for engorgement or swelling of the genitals during sexual arousal.

The clitoris, one of a woman's main sexual organs, is located at the top of the junction of the labia minora; clitoris pictures. Although only a small portion of the clitoris, called the clitoral glans, which is usually no bigger than a pea,  and often even smaller, is visible from the outside of a woman's body, there is an extensive structure of clitoral erectile tissue surrounding the vagina out of sight inside a woman's body, and some people believe this is responsible for a large part of her sexual pleasure during vaginal stimulation. (Others believe a separate area of tissue known as the G spot is responsible for this sexual pleasure.) Almost every woman will know that stimulation of her clitoris is the best way to make a woman orgasm, because the clitoris is like the penis in men: it's made up of erectile tissue, swells on sexual arousal, and is full of sexually sensitive nerve endings. Because of its erectile tissue, the clitoris actually enlarges as a woman becomes more sexually aroused; it's also responsible for most of the sexual stimulation signals registered by woman's brain, and it's these which cause her to reach orgasm. Again, like the penis, the clitoris has a hood or prepuce, a fold of skin which covers the shiny, sensitive, clitoral glans, and which draws back as the clitoris becomes erect. It's an essential part of woman's sexual anatomy, because the clitoral glans is so sensitive that direct stimulation before a woman is extremely aroused can be so intense that it is almost painful rather than pleasurable. Sexual touch becomes much more pleasurable the more aroused a woman is, because the tissues are engorged with blood and can take the pressure of sexual stimulation in this state: there is also more lubrication available to smooth the sensation of touch the more aroused woman is, which also makes the touch feel more pleasurable.

One of the most important things to emphasize to a woman is that no matter what her genitals may look like, they are perfectly normal and there is no reason for shame or embarrassment. One of the problems in society is that cultural images of what's acceptable or normal have become so widespread that they have influenced women's thinking, particularly that of teenage or adolescent girls, who now believe that they should have a perfectly shaped, regular, symmetrical pair of labia, probably with pubic hair removed. It's important for a woman to accept that whatever her genitals look like they are normal, and also to find out what makes her comfortable with her body, rather than simply buying into cultural stereotypes.

The smooth soft area between the labia minora is known as the vestibule. Somewhere in this area of tissue is the opening of the vagina and the outlet of the urethra, which is the opening through which a woman urinates or pees. The urethral opening is between the vaginal opening and the clitoris. If you've never examined your genitals closely you may not have seen the opening of your urethra, and to gain more acceptance and comfort with the appearance and form of your body, it's worth spending some time examining them with the aid of a mirror and a bright light. You will see the structure and appearance of your genitals, a process of exploration which can also be extremely pleasurable, and which will also help you to become more comfortable with your body, especially if you have any discomfort or embarrassment about it at the moment. If you cannot see the opening to your urethra you may well be able to feel it with a fingertip: it's a very sensitive area and can provide much pleasure during sexual stimulation if it's gently massaged by yourself or your sexual partner. The small paraurethral glands which some people believe are responsible for female ejaculation open into the outlet of the urethra and are derived from the same tissue as the prostate gland in the male baby. We shall come back to the function of these glands later when we discuss the subject of orgasm and female ejaculation.

Obviously, the opening of the vagina leads through into the vagina itself: the vagina is not actually an open tube, it's a set of muscular walls which can be parted by the entry of a finger, tampon, penis or some other object such as a vibrator (or obviously by the exit of baby). The walls of the vagina are responsible for secreting lubricating fluid when a woman becomes sexually aroused: the process is triggered by engorgement of the vaginal walls, and is equivalent to the obvious sign of sexual arousal in a man - the development of an erection.

As one travels up into the vagina, one is really entering a part of the human body that few people other than doctors will ever see. The vagina is a sheath, a tube whose walls are made up of muscles, erectile tissue and fibrous tissue, all lined with a mucous membrane which is both smooth, warm and moist. It opens up to accommodate the man's erect penis during sexual intercourse, it's the passage through which a baby is born (except for any delivered by cesarean section), and it also serves as the exit for the monthly menstrual discharge from the uterus in a woman who is ovulating and not on the contraceptive pill.

Where the cervix, the opening of the uterus, protrudes into the vagina (see pictures on this link), some remarkable changes in shape take place during sexual arousal so that the vagina is best shaped to accommodate the pool of ejaculated semen, thereby maximizing the chances of fertilization of the woman's eggs.

The size and shape of the vagina is quite variable, both within the same woman, and between women. It's only about four a half inches long during its normal "resting" state, but it does increase in length during sexual arousal so that it can accommodate the length of the erect penis, which is on average about 6 inches long: the changes which occur will be described later. It certainly isn't a passive organ; its outer layer is made up of circular muscles, and its inner layer is made up of longitudinal muscles, all of which means that it has the capacity to contract and tighten and relax and expand during sex, thereby providing additional pleasure to both the woman and the man. It's been claimed that only the first one third of the vaginal tube or "barrel" contains many nerve endings. This is a somewhat contentious claim, as the discovery of the so-called "A spot" would suggest that there are actually plenty of nerves along the whole length of the vagina (unless, as some would claim, that the pressure within the vagina that gives rise to sexual pleasure is actually stimulating the structures of the clitoris that lie around the vaginal barrel). Even so, it is a fact that one of the most sensitive parts of the vagina is located on the upper wall (as a woman lies on her back) only about one or two inches inside: this is the G-Spot, or Grafenberg spot, which is responsible for producing vaginal orgasms. The close proximity of this very sensitive area to the opening of the vagina demonstrates one compelling reason why it is not necessary for a man to have a particularly large penis to give a woman very fulfilling sexual pleasure during intercourse.

Although many of the muscles in the vagina are smooth muscles, which is the type of muscle not under conscious or voluntary control, and they undergo automatic reflex responses during sexual arousal, as we've already mentioned there are also circular and longitudinal muscles which are under a woman's voluntary control and which she can contract and relax at will. These are the pubococcygeal muscles, or PC muscles for short, which can be strengthened through a series of Kegel exercises.

As we have already mentioned, the interior of the vagina is lined by mucous membrane, which secretes mucus designed to maintain the normal, healthy environment inside the vaginal space. The bacteria that live in this space produce a slightly acidic environment which protects the vagina from harmful bacteria and yeast cells. When the normal acid/alkali balance of the vagina is disturbed, infections such as Candida (also known as yeast or thrush) may develop. Oddly enough, semen is one of the compounds most likely to disrupt the natural balance of the vagina, although under normal circumstances it is quite capable of maintaining a healthy balance. If you're experiencing repeated infections or irritation it may be worth speaking to a doctor to try and establish the source of these infections and what you can do to keep them under control.

The opening of the vagina, as explained before, is set within the area of the vestibule, a smooth and lubricated area of tissue between the labia. Before puberty, i.e. before sexual activity or menstrual flow begins, a thin membrane of skin called the hymen covers the opening of the vagina. This membrane has been seen as a sign of virginity, and the rupture of the hymen together with a small flow of blood has been regarded as an important sign of the loss of a woman's virginity and purity in many cultures. Even today, some societies have ritual celebrations whereby a newly married couple is expected to show a bloodstained sheet after the wedding night. Of course, what lies behind this primitive, crude and unsophisticated ritual is a patriarchal expectation that a woman will be a virgin when she marries a man, thereby demonstrating her husband's right to possess her, own her, and inseminate her. We need hardly say that a truly civilized and comparatively sophisticated society that is truly supportive of women's sexual rights would not necessarily expect a mature woman to be a virgin when she establishes a sexual relationship with a man. In any event, the hymen was never a good indicator of virginity because it can rupture during exercise or sporting activity, or even during exploration by woman's own finger. As the importance of the hymen has lessened in Western society, the obsession with a woman's virginity has also reduced, and so the myths that have grown around how painful it is to have it broken during a woman's first experience of intercourse have been exposed as the falsehoods that they are. Here are some images of the hymen around the opening of the vagina. You can click on them to see them full-size.

At the rear end of the vagina, the opening of the uterus called the cervix protrudes into the vaginal barrel on the front wall of the vagina. Because the uterus is located at a right angle to the vagina, the vagina does not simply merge seamlessly with the cervix; rather, the opening of the cervix is on the top of the vagina and at right angles to it. This arrangement leaves the blind end of the vagina located beneath the uterus and beyond the cervix, and this area of the vagina is called the fornix. The anterior area of the vaginal fornix has been called the "A zone" or "A spot", and is regarded by some as an extremely sensitive area responsible for producing massive sexual pleasure when a woman is highly sexually aroused -- we will come back to this possibility later. More practically, the fornix absorbs the man's thrusts during intercourse, as well as forming a space for the pool of semen produced when a woman's lover has ejaculated inside her. When a woman reaches orgasm, her cervix rhythmically dips down into this pool of semen, a mechanism which is thought to increase the chance of fertilization (although a cynic might say that judging by the number of people in the world, and in particular the number of unwanted babies, Mother Nature has provided the "dipping cervix" mechanism as a completely superfluous and unnecessary device for ensuring fertilization!). (The upsuck theory of female orgasm is not regarded as valid any longer.)

The G-Spot is an interesting part of the vagina, one whose very existence has been hotly debated by both men and women for some time. Now that there is evidence that the G-Spot is indeed an area of tissue different from the rest of the vaginal wall, we can say with confidence that it has a role to play in a woman's sexual arousal. It isn't actually a single spot, it's more of an area on the vagina wall which is extremely sensitive. One theory is that it's an area where pressure will stimulate the structures of the clitoris which lie around the vagina, but the more commonly accepted viewpoint is that it's an area where pressure applied to the vagina wall will stimulate the paraurethral glands, which is a process similar to stimulating a man's prostate gland through his rectal wall or perineum.

Deborah Sundahl has studied the area extensively and written a book which describes it in great detail; the book is entitled "Female Ejaculation and the G-spot". She makes the claim, which we would support, that the G-Spot is an area of the vagina wall very closely related to a network of erectile tissue and glands around the vagina which are indeed equivalent to the male prostate tissue. One Italian team has demonstrated through magnetic resonance imaging that women who are able to reach orgasm through stimulation of the G-Spot do indeed have a thicker layer of tissue at this point between the walls of the vagina and urethra, presumably implying that they have more prostatic-type tissue and therefore find it easier to reach orgasm through stimulation of this area. This was reported in the New Scientist magazine, February 23rd 2008.

Of course some women do not experience vaginal orgasms and are comparatively insensitive to internal vaginal stimulation. Others appear not to have a secondary paraurethral tissue in the region of the G-Spot. What we to make of these differences between women? Proponents of the G-Spot orgasm would say that women who do not experience a sexual response to internal stimulation have not yet been "awakened" or sensitized to the possibility of stimulation in this area, and there is a certain amount of anecdotal evidence which suggests that there may be some truth to this viewpoint -- not least of which is the fact that men have to learn to enjoy stimulation of their prostate. It's also possible that there are natural variations between women in the region of the G-Spot, just as there are in any other characteristic of the human body. But, all in all, it is a fact that all women can learn to enjoy sexual stimulation in this area, and it is indeed a region which is more sensitive than the rest of the vagina in all women, so it seems likely that some women can enjoy a vaginal orgasm, and that the G-Spot does indeed become more sensitive and possibly even enlarged due to stimulation over a period of time -- just as any other part of the body develops in response to direct stimulation.

Even so, many women and men suggest the G-spot may not exist because they have unrealistic ideas about how it works. If you regard the G-spot as a convenient way of accessing an orgasm, you're certain to experience considerable disappointment! As with all the other erectile sexual tissue in the human body, the area of the G-spot tissue requires time and appropriate stimulation with a finger (or a penis) to become fully engorged with blood; after it has fully swollen, it becomes receptive to more intense stimulation and responds with much stronger and more pleasurable sexual sensations. The G-spot enlarges and protrudes more into the vagina; it also changes texture from feeling ridged and rough to feeling swollen and smooth. With vigorous stimulation, which may make it swell considerably and even engorge with "female ejaculate", a kind of prostatic fluid from the paraurethral glands, the G-spot can even become so large that it forces the finger from the vagina.

For any women who is exploring the G spot for the first time, the watchword is "patience". You need to give yourself time and enough gentle stimulation until the G spot becomes responsive and aroused. Deborah Sundahl's book is one of the most helpful resources available to any woman who seeks to develop her sexuality in general and the responsivity of her G spot in particular. One of the key measures to developing this level of sexual sensitivity is to use Kegel exercises to strengthen the muscles of the pelvic area and the vagina, and another is to stimulate the area of the G spot on a regular basis. You can do this by exploring your vagina with a well-lubricated finger in the area where the G spot is located - you may wish to use plenty of artificial lubricant. The G spot is located somewhere on the front wall of the vagina.....but since how far inside it is located varies from woman to woman, you will need to experiment by exploring your vagina. You can locate the area of extra sensitivity fairly easily, simply because pressing it with a finger will feel different from pressing on any other area on the inside wall of the vagina.

Take your time so that the erectile tissues can respond to stimulation. Allow yourself to be guided by the feelings you experience; your body will guide you about where you experience the most rewarding and pleasurable sensations. You may experience a degree of numbness or some other less comfortable sensations when you press or stroke the area of the upper inside vaginal wall. If so, then stop the stimulation for a moment and and check whether the rest of your body is comfortable or tense. Try to relax and just breath deeply for a few moments. Let yourself know what is happening in your body. Then see whether you want to change your approach in any way, for example by altering the pressure or direction of your touch or by using more lubricant.

Because of negative sexual experiences, there are unfortunately rather a lot of women who have become disconnected from the sensations which their genitals are capable of producing. The G spot in particular seems to only produce a powerful sexual response when a woman is free of major sexual trauma; interestingly enough, gentle stimulation of the G spot seems to be one of the ways in which sexual trauma can be healed. There may well be profound release of deep emotions when the G spot is stimulated, provided the woman feels safe, perhaps with a sexual partner whom she respects and trusts.

Many women are very cut off from the sensations in their genitals, which can then end up feeling numb or uncomfortable. You - or your partner - may need to massage your G-spot area gently over time to nurture it back into its maximum capacity to achieve sexual responsivity and sensitivity.

As we explore the vagina more deeply, we pass from the realm of what can be seen outside the body or even felt by the woman during sexual intercourse into the hidden area of the uterus, Fallopian tubes and ovaries.

Many more useful references on female sexuality can be found here.

The uterus, ovaries and Fallopian tubes

The uterus (also known as the womb) is the organ in which the fertilized egg develops and grows inside a woman's body. Before conception, the uterus is around about the size and shape of a large pear, located upside down inside the abdomen near the bladder.

The top part of the uterus is called the fundus and is dome shaped; the body of the uterus narrows slowly down towards the end where it meets the vagina -- this is known as the cervix. The uterus has attachments to the abdominal cavity by means of various ligaments and muscles which move its position during sexual activity. For example, as sexual arousal increases, the uterus is pulled upwards and backwards, so that the penis can slide under the cervix into the end of the vagina. The structure of the uterus is ideally designed for the nurturing of the growing baby; it consists of powerful layers of muscle which make up most of the outside wall, arranged in longitudinal and circular layers which together make the uterus most powerful muscle in the human body. The inside of the uterus is known as the endometrium and is densely provided with a network of blood vessels which serve to provide nutrients necessary for the growth of the fetus during pregnancy. It's the growth of the endometrium's outer layer every month in preparation for the implantation of the fertilized egg, and its subsequent shedding if there is no pregnancy, that constitutes the majority of the menstrual flow.

Obviously for fertilization to take place sperm must pass from the vagina through the cervix into the uterus, where they will travel on upwards through the Fallopian tubes to meet an egg which is descending the Fallopian tube from the ovary. The cervix contains specialized cells which secrete mucus, the function of which is to block sperm when there is no egg available to be fertilized, and, paradoxically, to aid the transition of sperm into the uterus when an egg has been released from the ovaries. Clearly the whole design of the female reproductive system strikes a balance between protecting this extremely vulnerable and sensitive opening to the body and providing for the maximum chances of fertilization after sexual intercourse.

The Fallopian tubes are the next part of the female reproductive system beyond the uterus. They constitute a pair of tubes each of which is about 10 cm long, each of them linking an ovary to the uterus. The Fallopian tubes widen as they approach the ovaries, ending in a series of finger-like projections or protrusions known as fimbriae which serve to collect the egg once it's released from the ovary. On occasion, an egg may be released but not caught by the end of the Fallopian tube so it may enter the pelvic cavity: if the egg is fertilized, this can be a serious risk to the health of the mother. However, in general the eggs will move into the Fallopian tube where they are slowly swept along by cilia, small hair-like protrusions, on the inside of the tube. If there is to be a pregnancy, a sperm will meet an egg cell in the Fallopian tube and fertilization will take place the moment they meet. If a woman acquires the sexually transmitted infection called Chlamydia, it's possible that her Fallopian tubes may become blocked by scar tissue, in which case she effectively becomes infertile.

The ovaries are a pair of glands which produce both female hormones and eggs. In fact when a female baby is born, her ovaries contain all the egg cells that she will produce during her life and thousands more which will never be released during the monthly cycle. Each egg cell is surrounded by other types of cells which are together known as a primordial follicle; when a primordial follicle grows and develops into a group of cells supporting an egg cell in the middle of the whole structure, it is then known as a primary follicle; should it develop to full maturity and move to the surface of the ovary, ready for release of the egg, it is known as a secondary follicle. This transition takes place under the influence of hormones from the pituitary gland which stimulate the development of eggs within the ovaries and the monthly changes in the uterus ready for the implantation of a fertilized egg.

In the normal course of events only one secondary follicle will release its egg every month; after it has done so, the cells that remain behind in the ovary turn into a group of progesterone secreting cells, producing the hormone necessary to change the lining of the uterus into a condition ready for the fertilized egg to become implanted in it. If the egg is not fertilized, the cells producing progesterone die, the tissue lining the uterus is shared, and menstruation takes place. The whole cycle will begin again the following month. As you can see, the whole interplay of female hormones in this monthly cycle is extremely complicated and clearly constitutes a delicate balance. You can read more about the whole female reproductive system here and see pictures of vaginal penetration.

It's obviously important to understand that while all of the above information is essential for a woman who wants to understand how her body works, another major function of the female genitals is to give a woman sexual pleasure. The next pages of the website is devoted to how the clitoris and vagina play a role in giving a woman that sexual pleasure.

And now we explore the routes to orgasm open to a woman

[ Female sexual arousal ] [ Ways for a woman to climax ] [ How women reach orgasm - and how often ] [ How to reach orgasm during intercourse ] [ How to enjoy extended orgasm ] [ How to develop extended orgasm ] [ How to ejaculate during sex - advice for women ] [ Early sexual behavior ] [ Sexual fantasy and orgasm in men and women ]

Sexual fantasy and orgasm in men and women

Sex Information  email janinephotos  @  vulvavelvet.org